HOW TO DEAL WITH BULLIES

Stay cool. They want to upset you, don’t let them know they’re getting to you. BREATHE slowly and deeply. Do not engage, do not insult, do not respond. Activate Chillgus!

Use confident body language. Stand tall and make eye contact. Speak slowly and clearly and set your boundary: “This is not ok,” “Do not talk to me like that,” “I don’t appreciate you speaking to me in that one.” Even if you want to cry, concentrate on breathing deeply, and appear strong (you can cry later!)

Seek support. If you can, walk away and distance yourself from the bully, but do not isolate. Seek the support of people you trust and who have your back. Your goal here is to protect yourself and stay safe. Talk to someone in power who you trust: a teacher, a counselor, a therapist, a pastor, a parent, a good friend, a family member, a doctor… anyone!

Document everything. Keep an evidence log of all the interactions with the bully, that way when it’s time to make your Power Play, you will have all the evidence you need to back you up.

Stay away from social media. Do not engage with the bully on social media, or put the situation on blast, this will only make things escalate and will give the bully what they want: Attention. Put your phone away, and refuse to engage in the drama, believe me, it’s better this way! *BLOCK THEM*

Report. If the bullying continues to escalate, it becomes harassment, which is against the law. Harassment can be verbal (insults, threats, offensive jokes, slurs), physical (unwanted touching, pushing, or blocking), psychological (humiliation, manipulation, spreading rumors), or sexual (unwelcome sexual comments, gestures, or advances). If the bully is creating a hostile environment which makes it difficult for you to work or study, your place of work or school ARE REQUIRED BY LAW to act.

At work: Contact your supervisor, if your supervisor doesn’t act, then contact HR. If HR does not act, go to the CEO or president of the company. This is your right!

At school: All schools, colleges and universities have anti-bullying policies. Contact the school counselor, the Dean of students, the student union, or the office of student affairs. You can also contact campus security to ensure your physical safety and to document the incidents. If the behaviors continue and the bully is still bothering you, take all your evidence and documentation and contact your local law enforcement. Campus police or a trusted faculty member will be able to help you figure out how to file an official report.

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC): “Harassment is unwelcome conduct based on race, color, religion, sex (including sexual orientation, gender identity, or pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability, or genetic information.”

If the harassment escalates this could be consider stalking, which is totally against the law as well.

To recap:

Bullying is repeated and unwanted behavior meant to intimidate, humiliate or control. It’s mainly verbal either in person or online, by insulting, spreading rumors, or excluding the person.

Harassment is unwanted behavior towards a person based on personal or social characteristics like gender, religion, disability, race, sexual orientation, etc., creating a hostile work, home, or school environment. (Basically, bullying due to your personal characteristics.)

Stalking is wanted attention or contact that is causing fear or distress in you. With stalking the safety risk is higher because the person seeks physical contact or proximity to you.

NOTE:

Maryland Criminal Harassment (Md. Code, Crim. Law § 3-803)

Under Maryland law, harassment occurs when a person:

• Follows someone in or around a public place, or

• Engages in a course of conduct that maliciously alarms or seriously annoys another person, and does all of the following:

1. Has the intent to harass, alarm, or annoy,

2. Continues after a reasonable request or warning to stop, and

3.  Acts without a legal purpose.

Misuse of Telephone (§ 3-804) Using a phone to anonymously or repeatedly harass, embarrass, or torment someone is a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 3 years in prison and/or a $500 fine. Obscene or indecent content falls under this as well.

Misuse of Electronic Mail (§ 3-805) A similar offense applies to electronic communication (emails, texts, social media) when used maliciously to alarm or annoy after warning. Misdemeanor with up to 1 year in jail and/or a $500 fine.

Grace’s Law (Cyberbullying Specific; Criminal Law § 3-805)

Known as Grace’s Law, this criminal statute applies to the use of electronic communication to target minors:

A person may not maliciously send electronic communications (e.g., texts, social media posts, emails) that: Intend to harass, alarm, or annoy a minor, cause serious emotional distress or fear of physical harm, continue after a reasonable warning to stop, are made without legal purpose.

Penalties:

•  Misdemeanor: up to 3 years in prison and/or a $10,000 fine.

•   If intended to induce suicide in a minor: harsher penalties, up to 10 years imprisonment.

https://www.peoples-law.org/

NATIONAL HOTLINES

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline:

Call: 988 Website: 988lifeline.org

Crisis Text Hotline

Text: CONNECT to 741741 Website: crisistextline.org

STOMP Out Bullying Help Chat Line

Website: stompoutbullying.org Online Chat: stompoutbullying.org

Find a Helpline – Bullying Support

Website: findahelpline.com

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

STOP BULLYING. Website: stopbullying.gov

NATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION CENTER. Website: pacer.org

NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF PEOPLE AGAINST BULLYING. Website: napab.org

STAND FOR THE SILENT. Website: standforthesilent.org

INTERNATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION ASSOCIATION. Website: ibpaworld.org

NO BULLY. Website: nobully.org

STOMP OUT BULLYING. Website: stompoutbullying.org

KID-POWER, TEEN-POWER, FULL-POWER. Website: kidpower.org

CYBERBULLYING RESEARCH CENTER – Legal Resources. Website: cyberbullying.org

AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION – Bullyproof Resources for Parents. Website: americanbar.org (and enter “bullying” in the search bar)

To find resources specific to your state, visit your state’s Department of Education website or contact local school districts for information on anti-bullying policies and support services.