7 to 5 Book Excerpts (no graphics)
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INTRODUCTION
Why I Wrote This Book (p. 9)
I wrote this book for you. To help you create a better and more joyful life. Life is not easy (you probably know that by now), but people tend to make things more complicated than what they have to be. As I began working on this project, the idea of creating a game to simplify complex concepts, theories, and interventions gradually took shape, eventually leading to a little game I call 7 to 5. The game was created so you can apply psychotherapeutic tools to your own life, in a way that is simple and fun.
This project was born from my heart, as I imagined having a conversation with someone like you, someone between the ages of 15 and 25 (or older, but with a young spirit); someone in high school or college; someone who stares at the ceiling at night, wondering what the heck they’re doing with their life; someone who is tired of randomly crying in the most inconvenient places, or of googling “how to stop overthinking everything at all times.”
This book is for you if you feel like you’re in a perpetual emotional roller coaster: one second thinking about what you’re gonna do with your life, and the next spiraling down into the abyss because someone left you on read.
Life is hard, weird, confusing, heartbreaking, but it’s also funny and magical. We don’t get an instruction manual at birth, so we have to go through life trying to figure things out. We are thrown into the world with a bunch of expectations while feeling the pressure to be successful, mentally stable, polite, likable, emotionally intelligent, physically attractive, financially independent, and have great teeth… all that before we even turn 23! Exhausting!
I’m not gonna promise you that by reading this book or playing the game you’ll become a perfect human with flawless skin and zero emotional baggage. What I can promise you is that I will give you some tools on how to know yourself better, and enjoy life a little more. This book is about understanding yourself more so you can create a better life experience. On our journey together we’ll be talking about emotions & feelings, how to recognize your inner voices, how to establish goals, and how to guide your actions through awareness and intention.
This book is full of silly and goofy ideas and examples. I did this very intentionally, to help your brain remember the concepts so they are easy to apply. Please remember: this book is supposed to be fun. Don’t stress yourself over it. Embrace what resonates with you, and let go of the rest. This is the book I wish someone had handed me when I was in my teens or 20s or the book I wish I could have handed my daughter to help her navigate her teenage years. In this book you’re gonna learn about psychotherapeutic techniques & interventions, coping skills, neurobiology, and how to play the 7 to 5 game, a simple game about self-awareness and growth.
All the graphics in this book were created by Allie, my 20-something, currently unemployed, human daughter (I have 3 other kids, AKA, cats, but they’re not very good at drawing).
Allie came up with the ideas for the graphics as I wrote the chapters. Together, we created this project for you, and in the process, we had lots of laughs and fun. As you read this book, we hope you can feel the love and the good vibes we put into it.
Have fun with this book! Color the drawings, doodle on it. Put stickers on it. Make it uniquely yours. As you go through the chapters, have a pen or pencil ready… write down anything that comes up to your mind, like a thought, a memory, an idea, or an emotion. These insights will help you with your journey of self-discovery. If you don’t want to write on your book (but please do!), you can use a regular notebook to keep notes on your reflections, feelings, and behaviors. It doesn’t really matter where you write your self-observations as long as you do.
At the end of each chapter, you will find a word search to complete. Please complete the word search because this will help you remember the concepts you read throughout the chapter and reinforce the learning process in your brain.
This book has 3 parts:
Part 1 gives you background information about some concepts and it introduces you to the game 7 to 5. If you get lost or confused, just keep on going, everything will make sense…. Eventually… or never…. I guess we’ll find out!
Part 2 is about the practical application of the concepts from part 1. Here is where you will actually learn to play the 7 to 5 game. This part contains examples of how you can apply the game to your own life.
Part 3 contains the extras: how to create a personalized self-care plan, a chapter for the Swifties, and a last message from me.
To summarize, I wrote this book to help you gain self-awareness so you can create a better human experience… Maybe not to help you achieve complete happiness, but to feel happy(ish) in life, which it’s still pretty amazing! Ready? Let’s begin!
CHAPTER 1 - Bad News/Good News (p. 13)
I have bad news and good news for you:
ABOUT LIFE
1. Bad News: Life is hard. Like really, REALLY hard. You have bills, random pimples, heartbreaks, people leaving you on read, and paper cuts that Dr. Google tells you could be a deadly disease.
Good News: Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re not broken. You’re just like everyone else, trying to figure it out as they go on. So don’t be fooled by people who seem to have it all figured out because we’re all in the same boat!
2. Bad News: Life is not perfect. It is full of small and, sometimes, big failures. Some of these are public and embarrassing, but some others are private and painful. This is part of life and it can’t be avoided.
Good News: Through failure comes growth. By failing you have the opportunity to re-evaluate yourself and your life. If you don’t give up, your failure will be turn into success… eventually!
3. Bad News: People will disappoint you. They will. Even your friend Sam, who promised you they would never, ever, ever watch Game of Thrones (GOT) without you.
Good News: You’ll learn who you can truly rely on, and who you’re better off keeping at a distance. You’ll realize that not everyone has the best intentions, but you’ll still manage to survive.
4. Bad News: Full happiness doesn’t exist. If you make your whole life about chasing happiness, you will never find it.
Good News: You have everything in your power to create a good life. Instead of dedicating yourself to the hunt for happiness, you can focus on growth, peace, purpose, belly laughs, connection, good times, love, and joy… That’s when life becomes worth living!
5. Bad News: You can’t control everything in your life.
Good News: The moment you let go of your need for control; the easier and better life will be for you.
6. Bad News: Life does not come with an instruction manual. And if it did, it would probably be in a language that you wouldn’t understand.
Good News: As you go through life, you can create your own set of rules and manual shaped by the qualities and values you want to live by.
7. Bad News: There will be times when you’ll spend hours trying to fall asleep because you have no idea what you’re gonna do with your life.
Good News: Everyone does that! Life is about experimenting and getting to know what’s out there. You don’t need all the answers right now.
8. Bad News: Your first job after college might have nothing to do with your degree and it’s probably not gonna be something you absolutely love.
Good News: You’re gaining experience and skills; you’re meeting new people and hopefully getting free coffee and lunches! You don’t have to stay there forever, but you have to start somewhere.
9. Bad News: Relationships and friendships are weird. People grow apart, move away, or ghost you.
Good News: You’ll find your people. Keep putting yourself out there and your tribe will come.
10. Bad News: Dating in your 20s probably feels a lot like a reality show, and not a good one either!
Good News: The more you put yourself out there, the more you’ll learn about yourself and what you want & don’t want for your life. The more you get out of your comfort zone, the more you’ll grow.
11. Bad News: You’ll outgrow people, places, and even certain versions of yourself. Your taste and preferences might change as well.
Good News: This is not a loss…. This is evolution & growth, baby!
12. Bad News: You’ll make a lot of mistakes.
Good News: Hopefully you’ll learn from them and some of those cringy moments will eventually become funny stories (eventually!).
13. Bad News: You won’t always feel like you belong or fit in.
Good News: The more comfortable you are with yourself, the less often you will feel this way. And remember, you are not meant to be a perfect match for everyone!
14. Bad News: The people in your family will disappoint you or let you down. Generational curses will be passed down to you.
Good News: You can set boundaries and still love people from afar. You have the power to end generational cycles that no longer serve you or future generations.
ABOUT THIS BOOK:
1. Bad News: You’re probably wondering about how to play 7 to 5, but you’re gonna have to wait to play it.
Good News: After you become familiar with some of the concepts in Part 1 of this book, you’ll not only be able to play the game, but also kick butt at it.
2. Bad News: In our game, 7 to 5, you start as a beginner, following the heptagon.
Good News: After you’re able to follow the heptagon successfully, you can move to the advanced level of the game, and conquer the pentagon.
3. Bad News: There are gonna be times in which some of the concepts are gonna be confusing or difficult to apply.
Good News: If you keep reading and practicing the concepts, things will eventually start to make sense.
4. Bad News: If you want to have a better life, you’re gonna have to put effort into it. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
Good News: If you put in the effort, if you learn to play the game, and if you make it your intention to apply the game to your life… You will create a better life!
And last, but not least…
Bad News: No one is coming to save you…
Good News: You can save yourself!
Inspiration is everywhere and it might come from unexpected places: A billboard, a TV show, a book, a song, a poem, a podcast, nature, etc. Connecting to something bigger than ourselves helps us navigate life better. You don’t have to be religious to be inspired. Every day, keep your eyes open for anything that makes you feel alive or makes you think about your potential, your gifts & blessings, or about what your purpose in life might be. At the end of this book, on page 286, you’ll find a list of quotes to inspire you. The quotes could be from one of four sources:
The Bible (The most powerful book ever written)
South Park (One of the silliest shows ever made)
Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor)
Marcus Aurelius (Roman emperor and Stoic)
Try to guess the source for each quote and write down the quotes that resonate with you. Read them often and incorporate them into your positive self-talk. It’s just a game to help you realize that inspiration might come from different (and even unexpected) sources, but the message is the same:
The power to change your life is within you!
CHAPTER 2 - The Voices
The voices that keep me up at night (p. 17)
You’ve probably been there before: that moment, often in the middle of the night, when everything is silent around you. You close your eyes, try to sleep, and then, the inner chatter begins… You know the one I’m talking about, right? That annoying inner chatter that reminds you of your mistakes, your fears, your insecurities, and your paranoia. In this inner chatter, you hear voices telling you all kinds of things (most of them negative) that you accept without question.
Some other times, though, you refuse to believe what the voices are telling you, and you fight them as if you were the protagonist of a Japanese anime: sometimes with tears, sometimes with fire, sometimes with laughter, and, most definitely, with punches! (You’re in an anime after all!)
You try to punch them away, but the harder you hit, the stronger they become.
Then you come up with a plan to tune out those inner voices, hoping they’ll finally fade away. You get out of bed, put music on, play video games, or watch TikToks all night. You do everything in your power to silence the voices, because you know they can turn an ordinary day into a bad one or a bad day totally unbearable.
The problem is, the more you try to silence your inner voices, the louder they get, until it feels like you’re stuck at a death metal concert sponsored by your overthinking, past trauma, insecurities, fears, and stress.
Throughout the years, your inner voices have carefully developed scripts for you. These scripts are stories or beliefs that you keep repeating in your head, and that have become part of your everyday thinking. The scripts are different for each one of us, but what they all have in common is that they can be as annoying and irritating as mosquitos in a nudist colony! (No graphic created for this metaphor, not sure why.)
The scripts from our inner voices play any time there is silence and when we don’t have anything distracting our attention, so mostly at night or when we don’t have anything to do. Our individual scripts are based on our genetics, culture, upbringing, personality, past experiences, spirituality, general environment, and how far we’ve come in our personal growth.
Most often during our teenage years and our 20s, our inner scripts become distorted and bizarre, making our internal dialogue very negative and confusing.
During this time in our lives, our inner dialogue tends to question our worth and everything we stand for (having the power to send us into despair in the blink of an eye). Common themes in the scripts of our teens and 20s revolve around the fear of never being good enough, that our lives will never change, that no one will ever love us, and that we’re doomed to live alone and unhappy forever.
Internal Reality
Our scripts are created from words that we repeat to ourselves until they become so powerful, that they shape our inner reality. We believe them, and we convince ourselves that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, we can do to change our lives. Then, in the middle of the night, we surrender to the idea that we’ll end up living our days in complete human isolation, feeling mentally unstable, and in the company of 17 cats, that, unfortunately for us, absolutely hate us.
Is this mental reality true? NOT AT ALL! (Sorry for yelling, but c’mon! You know better than that!) But when we are surrounded by silence, the scripts come with intense images, powerful enough to send us directly into fear, worry, and dread.
The scripts and the images often become our very own fortune tellers, creating the momentary reality that our life sucks and that the future is not gonna be any better!
We don’t like our inner voices, the scripts they repeat, or what they represent; we really want to stop them but we don’t know how. So, we try to ignore them, we try to push them away, but the more we push, the stronger they become, hitting us back in the face like they’re a ninja cat from our future life.
And, do you know why they come back?
Because they’re part of who we are!
The voices (and the scripts they repeat) don’t have bad intentions. They mean well, and as strange as it may sound, they’re actually trying to protect and help us. The problem is that some of these voices have become so entangled with our past responses and painful experiences that all they know is negativity, doubt, pain, and hurt. Once we learn to understand and embrace them, they can begin to work with us instead of against us.
Becoming aware of our inner voices and thought patterns can be a powerful step toward greater stability and personal growth. As we embrace the silence, we’ll discover that there is one particular voice that connects us to something amazing within ourselves. This voice is always there, but it’s hard for us to hear it through the loud mental noise that we experience every day.
This is the voice that helps us feel calm, open, relaxed, and connected to our inner power. When we hear this voice, we gain the awareness we often lack, understanding that we are pretty amazing and capable of doing great things!
This is the voice of strength, resilience, peace, clarity, motivation, inspiration, authenticity, gratefulness, and insight. This voice helps us pause, listen, and feel its message: HOPE.
The voice of HOPE is the voice of the true essence that resides within us. This is the wiser, calmer, more loving part of us that connects to our true nature and to something bigger than ourselves.
This is how we are able to overcome challenges, survive suffering, and thrive in life. This voice is always present, and when we are able to embrace the silence, then we’ll be able to connect to it, realizing our true potential and inner power… We’ll learn how to have the best human experience we can have, embrace the gifts that were given to us by God, and hopefully find purpose and meaning in life.
This book is an invitation to be comfortable with the quiet space within yourself, where your true essence resides and where you can re-connect to your potential and inner power. Tuning into the voice of hope is how we make this human experience worthwhile and more satisfying.
Last Words… For real this time! (p.299)
I want to tell you a story about perspective.
My friend had a grandpa (who passed away many years ago) and his name was JOHN LESTER SEMLER. He was a great man and a fabulous grandfather, full of wisdom and love. He had some health issues and had to have his left leg amputated. I’m gonna tell the story as my friends tells it:
I was about six years old and on a Sunday I visited Pap Pap. While playing in the backyard, I fell and scraped my knee. I started crying, and Pap Pap called me into the house. I was upset and frustrated, but he met me with love and patience. Instead of scolding me for crying, he gently sat me on his lap and listened as I complained about my scraped knee.
Then he said to me: “It’s story time! Always remember that Inconvenience is not Hardship”, as he compared my scraped knee to his amputated leg.
I felt bad, but he quickly continued, “You might see your knee as a hardship, but it’s only an inconvenience. You might see my leg as a hardship when you compare it to your knee, but it’s not. My missing leg is only an inconvenience, because I’m still alive, and because I have a home, food to eat, and a family who loves me. I’m lucky to be here, and that’s why my missing leg is not a hardship, but an inconvenience that I had to learn to deal with.”
So, next time you are facing a challenge or a difficult situation, ask yourself: Is this a hardship or an inconvenience? Think of Mr. Semler and focus on your blessings. Then, Make it a habit to notice the simple yet beautiful treasures that surround you every day! Thank you, Mr. Semler!
